“All the while, what you want, and what you would give up everything for, is Happiness Itself, Utterly Free and Eternal. And this is, in fact, what you are all seeking. But you suggest that you are seeking all kinds of this-and-that.

What you are really seeking is the Divine Love-Bliss-Happiness – Prior to ‘objects,’ Prior to illusion.

And I Am here Showing you how to Realize That.”

                                                —Adi Da Samraj

One of the “this-and-that’s” I seek each day is the blob of shade at my neighborhood coffee shop. Thanks to fuckhead covid-19, when I go to coffee shops I only sit outside. The sun gets hot quickly, and the sidewalk in front of my neighborhood coffee shop only has one, small, coveted blob of shade, thrown by an elfin tree. (Note: I wrote this post when it was still hot out.)

Amongst we regulars, there is much jockeying to stake out the blob of shade. And the blob of shade, for its part, behaves as blobs of shade have behaved since the dawn of time, sliding very slowly along the ground as the sun glides across the sky. That means you have to keep moving your chair and table. You also have to keep your eyes peeled for the woman who comes every day with Cecil, the adorable puppy.

Today the woman with Cecil the adorable puppy placed her chair in the hot sun…but in precisely the spot where the blob of shade would be in, say, thirty minutes. I did not notice this. So then, while I was hunched over my notebook, madly scribbling away, the blob of shade slowly inched its way off of me and moved onto her and Cecil. And then, thanks to social distancing, I couldn’t move back into the blob of shade without encroaching on her six-foot perimeter with my pestilential self. Well played, woman-with-Cecil-the-adorable-puppy. Well played.

Sometimes, however, I don’t feel like negotiating the complex geopolitics of the blob of shade. On those days I trundle over to another walking-distance coffee shop. Its sidewalk tables are blessedly on the shady side of the street. But this coffee shop, too, has its challenges because, in addition to shade, I also look for a dynamic energy coffee shops. It is another of the this-and-thats I’m always seeking – a boisterous social vibe.

Now, during the pandemic, only two kinds of humans come and sit at this coffee shop’s sidewalk tables. There are mentally ill people, sometimes hauling huge suitcases piled high with stuffed garbage bags. And there are young, clean-cut Christians with great skin who talk unceasingly about their ministries and their missionary expeditions to Africa. Also, I’ve noticed that they talk a lot about how to figure out what exactly is and is not a sign of God’s plan for them. 

At the end of their discussions the young, well-scrubbed Christians always close their eyes, bow their heads, and one of them will launch into a long, chatty prayer. One time a young bearded man with crucifixes tattooed on his calves delivered one of these prayers. At the exact same time, a mentally ill man, sitting at a table nearby, spoke animatedly to himself about secret rays from the government that interfered with your cells’ ability to uptake calcium. 

I had stupidly forgotten my earbuds, so the two monologues competed for my attention. (For the record, the mentally ill guy’s monologue was way more interesting and believable.) Despite the excellent shade, the whole vibe at this coffee shop was very desolate and grim. These things happen when you forget what you’re really seeking. 

Could you find Love-Bliss-Happiness by subscribing to this blog? Seems highly unlikely. But worth a shot!